She announced her abortion via fbk
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
