You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
