I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
