I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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