i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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