I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
