Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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