Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
