evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
