Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
