Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
