Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
