Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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