Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
