My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
