There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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