he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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