For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
