Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
