I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
