that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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