yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
a search helicopter?!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
