That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
