if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
