his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
