You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
