booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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