Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
