That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
