so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize