I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
