I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize