With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
