census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So here I am, sexting at work.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
