I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
