their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Buhtt sex?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
