True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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