Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize