wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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