There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
