So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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