She's JV to your varsity
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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