Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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