i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
