I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
