Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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