my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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