I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
