you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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