why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
