proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
