Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
