I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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