if i died would you start the facebook group?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
