I cannot find my penis.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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