I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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