I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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