thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
