No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
