cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
