none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
