yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
